I have a set of "Power Thought Cards" by Louise Hay. One of these says, "Life mirrors my every thought. As I keep my thoughts positive, life brings to only good experiences." This advice is good and true, but it falls short. Keeping thoughts positive is a worthy goal, but how can we learn to do this authentically? Thinking positively is a decision, but it is also a skill. It is not enough to say, "I'm going to start thinking positively." With the first negative thought we have toward toward a person or a situation that 'shouldn't' be provoking such thoughts, we may begin to abuse ourselves for being petty or spiteful or small-hearted. Or maybe not. Some people judge deliberately, regularly, and enthusiastically. Personally, I tend to feel uncomfortable with judgments because they create a distance between the object of the judgment and me. I am also usually keenly aware that I am lacking adequate information to make a completely informed judgment, especially character judgments about people. When I learn to climb inside another person's mind (a sort of perversely intriguing thought), I may feel that I have more adequate information to pass a judgment, but even then it would be difficult for me to judge with a feeling of impunity.

But judgments arise constantly anyway. It seems to be the way my mind works. I think most other people work the same way, unless they are enlightened or are making a conscious decision to learn how not to make so many judgments. So given this judging mind of mine, the most important question for me is how I will meet with and manage the judgments that arise, and what I will allow them to teach me about myself.

In her excellent book Loving What Is, Byron Katie suggests in so many words that we can understand every negative thought we have about people or situations as the cry of the self longing to evolve. Judgments always arise from our own minds, so we're only bothered by what we are prepared to notice (and dislike) in others. For Katie, the world is a mirror of one's own mind, nothing more, nothing less. This means that the only shit one can ever really call others on is one's own shit projected outward. It may seem like it's entirely out there, but Katie suggests that it's worth working to realize that it isn't, that it always derives from in here.

With this understanding of the judging mind, I find that I can often listen, question, and learn from my judgments of other people, and move forward in my own life. When I look at life this way, I can feel that everything that happens in my life, especially the annoying or downright painful occurrences, are all for my benefit. None of the judgments or negativities are 'bad' -- conversely, they are the best friends I have. Katie suggests passing through these difficulties not by trying to let go of the negativity that arises, but by creating mental atmosphere that permits the negativities to let go of you. As each negativity falls away, the inner light of the authentic personality burns more brightly and becomes ever more visible to the perceiver and consequently, to others.